A little bit more about my photography side: I discovered this fabulous industry almost 5 years ago, and it has been quite the journey and growing experience. I have been like a run-away-train that has never stopped. I have pushed myself to create lovely images, steamed ahead to make this business happen, and even challenged myself to do the unthinkable… open my own office in the Napa Valley. This is my passion, and I have cherished each client that has invested in my business by purchasing images. Each one has been a stepping stone to my growth and has trusted me to capture their families moments and precious love. I have learned so much about myself, and others along the way. I can only hope and aspire to be doing this 10 years from now and traveling the world. On a more personal note: I have been a wife for 4 years. Mother to my beloved daughter for 10 years. The proud parent of two pups named “Stallone and Stella” (boxer + french bulldog) for 3 years. I love my humble life, and I am probably a lot like you. I have hard days and good ones. I struggle with money because I always want to buy shoes, or something fabulous. I get my nails done and eyebrows waxed, not often enough. I adore movie nights and tons of popcorn. There is nothing like a great bottle of wine (and it must be shared with good friends). There is nothing better to me than an authentic person that shares who they are; the good and bad. I am honest and loud; and laugh as much as I can. I’m obsessed with my cycle class, but mostly obsessed with my instructor and how she drives me to be better. I am human, and I fail, and I get really sad about it when I do. I want to simply be the best me that I can be while here on earth, and hopefully I will be able to capture some amazing light (within my images) along the way. 

*images captured by Kassidy Anna Marie (my daughter)

]]> http://marinkristine-blog.com/2011/01/snow-tahoe-wedding-photography/feed/ 6 http://marinkristine-blog.com/2010/11/cultivate-your-soul/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=cultivate-your-soul http://marinkristine-blog.com/2010/11/cultivate-your-soul/#comments Tue, 23 Nov 2010 18:35:14 +0000 admin http://marinkristine-blog.com/?p=3320 I don’t know about you guys, but lately I have been quite aware of my heart and the fact that I was crafted and designed as a spiritual and soulful being. I have been more than aware of what makes me cry. I have taken notice of the things that fill me with rage and how my feelings get injured (if you know me, you know I can get loud and vocal about my personal feelings = anger) — But more than anything, I have been conscience of the things that move me, the things that touch my soul.

Last night, after a soothing warm bath, I lit some candles and wiggled my toes deep into the comfy (and colorful) blankets across my bed. I had a journal and pen in hand with classical music playing in the background (yes, classical music… can you say nerd alert?) It was difficult for me to STOP my day and put the emergency brakes on my ‘go-go-go’ attitude. I listened to the music around me. I absorbed the music. I felt the softness of my blankets. I soaked in the moment. Breathing. I was in the present, the now.

With every breath, I begin to notice the other sounds trickling in from the other room. How could I not? They were loud sounds and overpowering sounds – the voices of my husband and daughter – my loud family (and yes, I am part of that ultra loud family). They were in the living room playing together, goofing off and being silly. My husband was dragging my daughter across the floor on her favorite blanket (kind of like a train ride) and they were laughing. They were enjoying one another, being active. And, of course, here I am locked in my room attempting to soak in the sounds of the deep cello ministering to my heart. Trying to reflect on life. Attempting to write and read. I couldn’t be more different than those two. Why am I so different? Why do I march to a different drum? Why do colors, and music, and ambient lighting inspire me? Why does it go into the ‘deep of me’ and draw out hidden waters?

And that is when it hit me… because I am an Artist.

I know it must seem ridiculous, but I have a hard time classifying myself as an “ARTIST” – because in my mind artists are hippies and they paint, write poems, smoke cigarettes and hang out at coffee shops. Me? I am not like that therefore I must not be an artist, or at least a REAL artist. In my mind, I am just a girl that adores bold complimentary colors in her home and really enjoys capturing moments, nature, and beauty on film (like the image above). What is so super crazy ‘artist’ about that?

Most of the time, I feel extremely average (I think a lot of us do) and more than anything I just want someone to tell me that I am special. So in my quest for affirmation I keep busy, working and striving, attempting to pour ‘something of substance’ into this empty, gapping hole at the core of me – my heart. I keep myself so busy trying to fill it up with things like – the drive for success, my art and love for photography, striving and comparing, and the approval of humanity. I tend to keep myself so consistently busy that I ignore the cries and soft whimpers within my soul. The emptiness only continues to rage because I am not filling the hole inside of me with the water that it longs for (kind of like an unquenchable thirst, that is not satisfied with coffee).

It actually takes time, more work (what? more work? UGH!) and continued effort – to quiet down the external (and internal) noise, get rid of the distractions, light a candle, look within and look to God. Your true significance will come from Him, not from others.

Dig into the deep… Who are you really? What god do you serve? Are you more in love with yourself, or are you in love with Christ? Do you love people? Are you obsessed with the mistakes of your past? The fears and failures of your future? — It is so easy to get pulled into past mistakes, or distracted by the big and scary unknown future – but what we need to be doing as a ‘people’ is live in the PRESENT, the now, and cultivate our souls and relationships with others. That is what is important. Loving God and people are the most important thing!

What moves you? What is your purpose in this life?
What personally moves me and touches my soul is acknowledging the presence of God in my life and within other people. I love people, their laughter and tears, the shared pain and JOYS of living life. I want to live a full life! I don’t want to be stuck living in the mistakes of my past, nor 10 minutes ahead in the future. Life is too short to not live it FULLY, in the here and now in this present moment. I want to be grateful for the things I have today, and not be consumed by the desires and wants of tomorrow.*THIS WEEK: I challenge you, to STOP the noise in your life. Shut down your work, your facebook, and television – cultivate your soul. Take a bath, light a candle, pull out a pen/paper and express your thoughts. Start an inspiration wall. (If you are a photographer, like me) Take a photo that inspires you, not because it is your job. Quiet the noise and find out what the deep waters of your soul want to pour forth.

*There are definitely some requirements that I am specifically looking for – so please be sure to read this blog post in full before submitting your application for the position. I want you to be positive this is something you are interested in.

Details and requirements

I am in need of (one) SUPER INCREDIBLE person who is willing to work exclusively for Marin Kristine Photography as an assistant and second shooter. All wedding images shot by this assistant will belong to Marin Kristine Photography and will be given solely to the bride and groom while working underneath the Marin Kristine Photography banner. These images will not be used to advance the assistant’s personal portfolio on a separate website during employment. I must strongly express again that this assisting/second shooter position is ONLY to work EXCLUSIVLY for Marin Kristine Photography.

So…. does it sound like this could be you? Please follow the guidelines below to begin the application process:
PLEASE SEND IN ALL INFORMATION TO: info@marinkristine.com

• YOUR FULL NAME and CITY YOU LIVE IN
• AGE
• 5 (five) BEST/FAVORITE IMAGES YOU’VE PERSONALLY CAPTURED (or link to your website)
• A LINK TO YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE
• … and then, BECOME MY PERSONAL FRIEND ON FACEBOOK (if you are not already) CLICK HERE
• WHAT DOES YOUR WEEKEND TYPICALLY LOOK LIKE? (Friends? BBQs? Lake? Camping? Church? Family?)
• ARE YOU A PARENT? MARRIED? SINGLE? (Will your spouse be okay with your absence on weekends?)
• WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE GOOD FOR THIS JOB?
• WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS AS A PHOTOGRAPHER?
• WHAT QUALITIES (of yours) DO YOU THINK WILL BENEFIT MARIN KRISTINE PHOTOGRAPHY?

If you have any additional questions, please don’t hesitate to ask…

There is no greater thing than living life. I am talking about ALL of it. The hurts, the pains, the joys, the laughter, the mistakes, and the lessons learned. It is ALL so beautiful if you stop and  simply think about it. Think of the people in your life today, think about the friendships gained and the friendships lost. Think of how you have grown into the person you are right now. The wisdom you wear like a string of valuable pearls. The heartaches you carry on your back like Santa’s bag-of-toys on Christmas. The dreams you wish into reality. Think of the boyfriends (or girlfriends) you have had, and what they brought into your life. What about the nights you’ve partied so hard that you lived to regret it in the morning. The music you have danced to, the music you have cried to, the music you have sung on the top of your lungs to (in your car.)  I know I wouldn’t trade any of my experiences or memories for anything in the world. I would never wish for a different life. I love everything I have been though so far (even the biggest mistakes.) It has molded me and shaped who I am. My experiences, in a way, define me. And honestly, I think it has turned out to be quite a beautiful ride (and I haven’t turned out too bad either.)

But, doing what I love and witnessing a “dream” slowly come to life is worth more than a couple thousand tear drops. I get to create. I get to bless people, and touch hearts. I get to make new friends and see smiles that become a greater reward than a pay check. I have experienced honest growth: even just as simple as this blog post because I remember my first blog post (oh my goodness) I sat there staring at the computer screen not knowing where to begin. I didn’t know what to type, nor what to share with people that (I believed) weren’t even going to read it. I probably only ended up with about one sentence. Now, on the other hand, I just type away whether my grammar is correct, or punctuation perfect, or whether anyone is even reading. I just express myself and who “I am” and I’m slowly getting to a point where I know 5 years from now – my blog posts are going to be better, my stories will bring tears, and my images will move souls.

I love being inspired by others, and I hope to bring a little inspiration by the art I make and the things I say. I love that this photography voyage is never obsolete. It is always changing, always moving and growing. So what have I been doing lately? I have been fine tuning my business and putting the ‘finishing touches’ on my office. I have been getting organized, ordering studio samples, and preparing for the future. I am looking ahead and NEVER EVER stopping. This fun blog post is simply – a collection of FABULOUS images taken this afternoon. I love my “little space” to pieces, and wanted to share it with you! I know most of you have never been into my office (or haven’t been here lately) and I wanted to give you a little peek inside the doors. My office is where I spend almost every moment – from my morning coffee to talking with you guys on Facebook. And, as you can tell, my office is overflowing with “french boudoir” inspired knick-knacks that motivate me and sum up who I am as a business owner. Each item screams (loudly) about all the things that I love. I love soft romantic images with stunning light, boudoir and the beauty of women, vintage items and antiques. Oh, and lets not forget Anthropologie (clothing store.)

I am also inspired by little birdies, (like the ones below.) Just like the quote at the top of this post. I honestly feel “like a tiny bird with a BIG song” – and I know I’m not alone with this overwhelming emotion. I think most of us feel as if our song (dream; vision; message) over powers the size of how we see ourselves. I believe we put “a limit” on our ability by doubting what we can actually accomplish and how strong we really are. I am at the point (in my life) of daring myself to understand that no matter how tiny I feel, or how gigantic my song is – I know God is bigger and nothing is impossible with the Lord. 

If you are considering booking Marin Kristine Photography (that’s me!) for a wedding, engagement, or boudoir session please come by and meet me. I love making new friends, and hearing sweet love stories. I think that every human soul has something beautiful to offer, and I love beauty – that means YOU! Even if you are not interested in booking a session, I would love for you to come by and see me – just say to say hello – because on most days I am editing (and going nuts) behind the computer! I look forward to meeting you soon ~ XOXO

Happy 4th of July     I am getting ready to head out to San Francisco to celebrate the day with my family, but I thought I would write a little blog post featuring the winners of the LOVE STORY giveaway… ERIK and LACEY. Congratulations you guys! I want to thank EVERYONE that submitted their story, opened their hearts, and took the time to share their love with me. It was so wonderful (and difficult) trying to choose the winners of this contest. I wish I could have picked each and every one of you – because every story was perfect, intimate, and beautiful. Love truly is an amazing thing! I wish all of you a HAPPY July 4th, have fun watching the fire works tonight…

What is my number one favorite thing to photograph? Couples. Whether they’re getting engaged or have been married for years, love is a precious story that needs to be told. So in honor of my personal love story (*see below) I am holding a contest/giveaway. The winners will receive my top portrait package: a 2 hour photography session with a styled theme; 30 custom edited images; a private online gallery; a disc of 10 high resolution finished negatives; 20 (4×6) prints; (1) 10×20 Story board, (1) 11×14 Canvas Wrap – a $1000 value!

This brings us to the fabulous LOVE STORY GIVEAWAY and how to enter and WIN, WIN, WIN! If you know a couple that has a beautiful story with some unique character and history or if you yourself have a great one… tell me your LOVE story! Shout it from the rooftops! I will be selecting the winner based upon how inspirational, unique, and touching the love story is… I will let my heart and soul do the choosing (I’m a sucker for romance)

How to enter contest? Please send me:
a) photo of the couple
b) the love story
c) contact information (email, personal address, phone number, etc…)
d) … and last but not least why they (or you) most deserve the gift of the photo shoot

Please email me this information to info@marinkristine.com I will be making my decision by July 4th in honor of my love story (*see below). The winning couple will be photographed in the Solano, or Napa Valley area. *NOTE: I am happy to travel if expenses are paid. Also, there are no losers so don’t be shy to write… every submission will receive a $50 gift certificate towards a portrait session in celebration of their L.O.V.E. (so be sure to include that address of yours, so I can mail you your gift card). I am excited to hear all of your love stories and start working toward choosing that one lucky WINNER!

It seems like only yesterday that I was a young 18-year-old fresh out of high school living on my own and working toward those awesome aimless goals of mine. My occupation? Waitress. College? Nope. In a relationship? Probably. In fact, I was the type of girl who always had a guy. Even if I didn’t have a guy at that exact moment, there was always that “prospect” in my peripheral, and Dave (my soon-to-be-husband) was just that. He was my prospective boyfriend and the cute guy who made me laugh.

After working side-by-side at Outback Steakhouse for months, he worked up some courage and got the nerve to finally ask me out. That prospective boyfriend offically became the real deal.

[story break] To put a few things into perspective for my sweet readers… I was raised in a Christian home, with Christian values. My parents have been married for a little over 30 years, and I was raised to always respect the sanctity of marriage and *cough, cough* being intimate within marriage only.

4 months later, I was pregnant.

With lots of tears (on my end) our lives became a whirlwind, a blur, and all that lay ahead for our future was a bum-rush wedding. The plan? Keep everything very “hush-hush” and try to get married before any signs of pregnancy. The scheduled proposal happened at Christmas time, in a well-known San Francisco restaurant, announced live by a band, in front of all of his friends (friends that I hardly knew). I plastered a surprised expression on my face pretended to be SHOCKED by the proposal.

The dress was purchased, venue (with deposit) chosen, bridesmaids, colors, cake, flowers, everything all hand-picked to perfection… We were going full steam ahead. That was, until I watched his face closely and witnessed “the fear” replace glances of love. Everything inside of me stopped, and my heart awakened to the disappointment of shattered dreams. I questioned the steps we were taking. I doubted his love, and I doubted my own.

With lots of tears (once again on my end) a courageous decision was made. We decided to wait until after the delivery. Once the baby was born, we thought life would come together, be more simplistic, and the confusion would pass…

So life continued on, and we found a little apartment for our growing family and my expanding belly. I suppose things were okay to begin with, being busy decorating for the new coming baby, but I never thought I would be living/pregnant with someone I hardly knew. With every kick and nudge from Kassidy the sleepless nights rolled in. Day in, and day out, Dave and I got to know one another and the ugly side of our personalities began to flourish. Selfish behaviors continued as if there was no “baby on its way,” and I became very dissatisfied with the direction my life was headed. We began to argue constantly about him going out with friends, living a single life, and what felt like abandoning me at home alone for hours on end.

I gave birth to Kassidy Anna Marie on August 8th, 2001.

It was hard and difficult, but I would say that being a mom is like being a duck in water. I knew what to do from the moment she came into the world, and I have been taking care of her little bootie ever since. But, the truth is, I always had a hard time accepting becoming a “mother.” I was young, independent, and just as selfish as Dave. I had soooo many passions and desires that I wanted fulfilled. I wanted more out of a man, out of life, and simply put: I wanted more than Dave. I wanted more passion. I wanted poetry and crazy love. I wanted to be adored, stare deeply into someone’s eyes, and be showered with words of love.

This yearning for “more” festered as I watched Dave look at his newborn daughter in a way that he never looked at me. I saw the adoration in his eyes as he gazed at her. Love was so freely given to her, and I envied that kind of love, period. So, I ended the engagement, resolving that he would never love me in the way that I needed love.

He moved out when Kassidy was 3 months old, and I started living MY life again.

To be honest, it was all about me. I had custody of Kassidy for 4 days, he had her for 3 days. And, when he had her, I was single. I was free again, and I was painting the town red. I went out with an old boyfriend a few times, but more importantly, I met new ones. And, oh my! How I could go on and write novels about my “wind swept” romances. Oh, yes! I got the romance that I sooooo longed for. The adoration that I envied, but as I would soon discover… when one flies so high on the wings of passion, the fall is utterly disastrous.

My heart was eventually crushed. I wasted years of my life investing in a lie that I defined as love.

And so… after picking up the remains of my broken heart, I fulfilled a promise that I previously made to myself and to God years before. I became single. Yes, officially a single mom. No man. No “prospective boyfriend.” I kept my eyes solely on God, my heart, my hurt, and the mess inside of me that needed to be cleaned up by Christ. I was tired of running into another man’s arms, only for the passion and lust to be a temporary fix and short lived high. Love was my drug. I thought that it would satisfy every longing and craving within my soul.

I am not going to lie. It was a hard decision, and I cried a lot. A LOT! I was pretty much a pathetic mess, because all I wanted to do was run back into the arms of my “wind-swept” romantic love. I wanted to forgive my ex-boyfriend, forget all the wrongs, and just be adored again! But, I can’t reiterate enough, that it was a lie. I had to tell myself that daily to just get through the week, and every week felt like a month. Honestly, if I didn’t have the shoulder of my best friend to lean on, and if I didn’t have her strength and prayers to hold me up, I would have never made it through and become the woman that I am today. I am so grateful for who she was to me.

Time passed, and a year trickled by (my goal was to be single for 2 years, and dedicate myself to God). It was about that time that Dave started attending church – the same church I was going to. He had a girlfriend and was living life in the “fast lane” just like I was a year before. He was testing out hearts and breaking them along the way.

[story break] To put things into perspective for my sweet readers… I pushed Dave away, and kept him out of my life for 7 years. I am talking about, when he showed up at my door to drop off Kassidy – I smiled, said thank you, and pretty much slammed the door in his face. (yeah, I was super nice!) And it’s not because I was necessarily angry with him, I was just guarding my heart from getting into a relationship with him again. He was the last person on earth I wanted to be with. He had every quality that I didn’t want in a man. He was too nice, yet self-absorbed. He was simple, unromantic, clumsy, confusing, and always 3 steps behind me. My pride and independence just couldn’t handle being with a man like that… but something BIG was starting to change inside of him and inside of me.

One night I had a dream. It was something so simple I might have never noticed it before. It was one of those dreams that you have right before you wake up, and because it is fresh in your mind you completely remember it…. well, I dreamt of Dave (which I NEVER dreamt about Dave). We were driving to my apartment in his car, and I reached over and took ahold his hand. I looked at him and placed my head on his shoulder. In that moment I felt peace flood over me. It felt so right. I felt a sweet love fill up my heart, like a best friend kind of love… and then, I woke up. “WHOA! What the heck was that? I don’t care about Dave like that! I don’t love him… [pause] or do I?” Because I was trying to be sensitive to God’s will, plan, and future for my life, I mentioned to God that I would need a few things to change. First: my heart would have to morph – become tender and soft, falling in love with him all over again (which seemed impossible). Then second: Dave would have to be man enough to truly prove to me that I was the one that he wanted, and pursue my heart with an unrelenting consistency (which was another impossible feat). Well, it just so happens that GOD, my Jesus, is a God of the impossible and making miracles happen.

The next day, I needed some help moving a couch from my apartment into storage, and of course… Dave was always near. He was kinda the ‘man in my life’ when I needed a muscle or two lugging heavy stuff around. So, being the sweet wonderful girl that I am, I asked him for some help. He came over, and we both hauled it away in his brother’s truck. Afterwards, we grabbed a bite to eat at Strings Italian Cafe – my treat. (It was at this moment when everything began to change). Here I am, the annoying loud girl that I am, always prying into others lives (specifically Dave’s) and asking him about his girlfriend of the moment, “So, is she the one? Are you gonna marry her? Because, if you are not, you shouldn’t be leading her on or messing around with her heart. Soooo…. is she the one?” He started wiggling in his seat, getting all uncomfortable (as usual, he doesn’t really like to talk about things). He didn’t know. He didn’t have an answer. It figures, I think to myself, Dave never opens up about anything.”MARIN! I don’t have to tell you everything about my life, okay?” I just stared blankly at him. Wow. Gotcha Dave, whew, I was just asking if she was the one for you. GOSH! So, I changed the subject and started going on about something else for another 30 minutes. Then, all of a sudden out of left field, while I was still in mid-sentence, Dave just blurts out, “Marin, I just don’t love her the way that I loved you. I don’t think that I am going to marry her.” I kept looking down at my plate, uncomfortable with this new found declaration of love, and boldness… Ummmmmm, “Okay,” I said quietly under my breath. I probably brought up another topic trying to ignore this truly ackward moment, and I have got to say, I was really good at ignoring him

After this dinner, we got back to my apartment. I said thank you, and we were making our traditional parting statements. We gave one another a hug goodbye like always (we were always cordial and nice to one another). BUT… this hug was not the “normal” hug. We both held onto one another a little longer, letting the hug linger as he whispered in my ear “I care about you Marin, I always have.” [pause] My heart was filling up with warm feelings, “I care about you too Dave”. We pulled away and smiled at each other. He walked back to his car, and I heavily walked up my apartment steps in a daze. My head was swimming with questions, and tears began to flood my eyes. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY LIFE!?!?!?! What the heck is happening? First a dream, and then Dave saying all of this stuff? What is this? I locked myself in the house and did what any normal girl would do, started crying.

That night, I got a phone call. Dave was on the other end blubbering on about stuff that didn’t make any sense to me. I decided to just sit there, be patient, and hear him out. He was (in his own way) telling me that he still loved me, that he has never gotten over me, and no other girl had compared. He wanted to be with me. I shared with Dave the weirdness of my heart changing and warming up to his approaches (which to him was like “Dumb and Dumber” sooooo? Your sayin’ I’ve got a chance!!!) In all of the excitement of the moment, I warned Dave that there was no guarantee that this would work between us, that he definitely had to end his relationship with his girlfriend, and that he had to wait another year while I finished out my “2 years” with God.

Dave immediately broke up with his girlfriend and sat around for a year… waiting, writing love letters, sending flowers, and waiting some more.

It was officially on the 4th of July that my 2 year commitment to God ended, and Dave and I went out on our first date (again). Butterflies were fluttering in both of our stomachs, and the excited smiles could not leave our faces. We traveled by boat into San Francisco to watch the fireworks, walk around pier 39, and just stare romantically at one another. The smell of fish was in the air as we shared ‘clam chowder in a bread bowl’ walking along the freezing Bay. He timidly asked to hold my hand, and I nervously let him (pretty nice of me huh?) As the sun set he wrapped his arms around me, snuggled in close to my ear, and with warm breath on my neck we watched a myriad of colors burst forth in the evening sky. We had a good time. In fact, it was a great time. Sweet, romantic, and new. From the 4th of July – to October 11th (the day Dave proposed) God proved true to his promise and molded both of our hearts and lives into something new. What was dead between us, was fanned back into flame through the love of God.

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Had to start the day off right! With a little bit o’ Starbucks, YUM!

I love fields, they make me so happy! I took this picture while driving by (I pulled off the the side of the road & rolled down the window) LOL

Got home to my dog snuggling in his bed. Oh how I love him!

I headed out to Berkley this early afternoon to meet up with Olivia from “Olive Route” Letter Press (her company) about my new business cards. I am so EXCITED about them. I have been working on these with her for the past month and today we finally discussed some final designing issues. It’s pretty much GOOD and ready to go, after a few more emails and decisions on my end… I should have them within a month. Can’t wait to share images of the final product with all of you! YAY!

*All images taken with 85mm 1.2

Please check out the ARETE website here. Say ‘HI’ to Beth and tell her I sent you…